Confessions of a dangerous Mind! (Fictious)

The day has arrived again. From the last 29 years, this is one day that i just don't want in my calendar. If god would have bestowed powers in me, the first thing i would do is to remove this wretched day from my life. Specially Aug 15 1980.But the more i think about it , the more I laugh on my innocence. Even if I become god , I won’t be having the courage to remove my b day and my existence from my life and from face of the earth.You must be wondering how can someone abhor his bday to an extent that he doesn't even want to see the date. Seeing it in calendar reminds me of pain, despair along with love and selflessness, quite contrary but a fact.Well, i was born under very special circumstances. God gave me an option, an option to trade my life in place of my mother’s. But as all human beings are greedy, i too guided by my selfish motives agreed to trade with her love.even god couldn't stand such heinous act of mine and hence I was cursed to be deprived from the love of mother.Its then and now that i have everything that a man desires. I have reached to the pinnacle where people idolize you to the extent of god, from this height the view down below looks wonderful but inside my heart desires for someone to whom i can share my achievements. It has always been like this, to all the things i have achieved and all the times i have fallen down i was looking for someone to be there besides me. Someone to whom I can share my sorrows and celebrate my successes. With Every success and every failure my guilt widened and my heart desired more for the motherly touch. Maybe this was almighty’s way to remorse me for the crime I have committed.
Earlier I used to curse God for taking away my most precious gifts, but later I thought maybe it was all I wanted. Maybe god was just giving me with what I asked for. I was the one with a black heart and no soul.Today the whole of the city is celebrating the mayors b day, But I'm here walking in the rain trying to wash my sins and cleanse from the burden of killing my mom. With every droplet of rain i have become more heavy. The drops which i thought would cleanse me is making me more depressed. Maybe even rain doesn't have the power to cleanse the sins of a murderer.
But even if the rains cant cleanse my sins it has cleared my mind though.Now,that I know that I can’t bring back my mom and can’t get to feel the motherly touch of hers, I have made a point that I won’t let anyone in my city to be homeless and remain as an orphan. I will , by all means try to provide to all those unlucky ones like me to get a good adopted family and if not possible not at any point of time to have a feeling of neglect. I, as mayor would not even let the shadow of pain and misery surround my fellow civilians of the city. I know by seeing this somewhere above in the heavens she is smiling over me,maybe by trading her life she has got what she wanted from her child. Among all the corrupted politicians and aristocrats I will be her gem in the crown. She will get what she wanted not by life but by death,not an orthodox money minting politician but a social servant.
With this I returned to the party smiling,eyes with determination and a schedule to be worked upon.