Connection

Gosh I think I am truly getting love struck or love deprived ,whatever be the case I cant even figure out now. I mean this will be my second post in a couple of months about love or maybe love I don’t know yet, we will see as the post progresses. Something is really wrong with me.

Somehow in these months and particularly this week I think, I have felt something different about things and moreover about me.

I was just hearing a song from cardigans and i realized that how much the song describes me or my minds stature in particular.

Trying to believe and confide to someone or some special ones was I always used to do. Trying to show my real self to people was I always wanted to do. In the process some got closer than others some dint even bothered. I was sometimes betrayed and was sometimes broken. Stumbling, walking, running and stumbling again but I dint lose hope. Trying to connect .To make someone to see the real me not the reel me, just like "I see you" they say in Avatar, seeing the inner me not the outer appearance was how i used to live.

But eventually i realized all these times I was sometimes treated like an intruder or like a weed or sometimes just a mistake. My efforts were taken for granted and i was a lot of times misunderstood. Finally i gave up and i disconnected with the people, the world and from myself. Probably i dint even know in the first place how to connect or maybe the whole thing in first place was just a mirage. I locked everything inside me and threw them into an abyss.

But somehow from somewhere i don’t know why...probably i know the reason but don’t want to discuss over here i got this urge to untie the strangled emotions and solve the intricacies inside me. I got this urge to connect again with myself. I got this urge to listen to my deep hidden emotions and to react on the same. There was no hope no expectation no feeling just an urge, a pure urge to connect, to express , to let go myself, to tell things ,to know things. I was feeing more like me, more sane and more like myself.

There is a possibility that i can be treated like an intruder again or probably a mistake but i am sure this time i won’t disconnect because i was shown and remembered of something which was long lost and in this realization i experienced unbounded happiness. I was connecting more to my real self and if i can do that i don’t think i would need anybody else for connection as the content of self contentment is the most special emotion far superior that someone else's acknowledgement.

Intrude or be concerned?

Humans are intruding by nature. We like to poke our noses in other people's business. From famous film stars, business tycoons to even our neighbors or friends, we want to know it all, especially when it’s a tragedy or not so good kind of experience. Probably that’s the reason why stuff like Pune times and other gossip journals are so popular among people. Most people say it’s the way of Indians but I somehow feel it’s a basic tendency of all the sapiens.
Well the matter itself is quite intriguing and the nature is even more and probably that’s the reason I just couldn’t stop myself to pen errr blog it down.
Why should be the question that comes when I think about this. Why are we so interested in other people's life. Well I can literally divide people in categories just on this "why".
First ones are probably like me. I call them as "always bored peeps”. They are so bored of their monotonous life that they think this intruding will get some unexpectedness in their daily regime and probably might get some flavor from others. In short just looking for not so expected and usual.
The second ones are the the worst ones. I call them "saas bahu" types. Their driving force is jealousy. They are more interested in other's life than their own. They love when a tragedy happens to some ones else's life and if he/she is your colleague the better. Well I don’t think i need to explain more on this as to visualize these kind of people you can imagine all the vamps in Ekta kapoor's soaps. My "saas bahu" category icons i must say.
The third one is a rare specie. We can call them as "Gandalf of LOTR" These people are genuinely interested in knowing about others so that they can help the needy. Like the saviors. Always ready to give a helping hand and do some good for the society. Though I would love myself to be called as the Gandalf types but that would be butchery of the name.
Generally a person can be divided in these categories only but sometimes it depends on situations too.People do behave and react differently at different times and sometimes they are driven by other factors too.Thus there is a possibility that one can belong to one category at one time or the other one in some other time purely based on ones condition.
IMO if we think that it’s in our nature to be intruding then why can’t we convert this intruding nature into a concerned behavior.Why can’t we move more into the third type i not always then most of the times,so this intruding isn’t so intruding and becomes more of a concern, a bonhomie.